With a Little Help From My Friends
Monday night I got in the car after a sweaty double at SP and my radio was tuned to some rando channel playing "With a Little Help From My Friends" by the Beatles. I love the Beatles and of course the song always makes me think of "Wonder Years" - who didn't love that show growing up?! " Oh, I get by with a little help from my friends. Mm, I get high with a little help from my friends. Mm, gonna try with a little help from my friends.". This could not sum up my birthday more perfectly!
I mentioned in my last post I'm very much not owning life right now and that includes dreading my birthday. I usually LOVE to celebrate and I consider myself a great party planner so where is this year's funk coming from? I think it's a combo of things. 35 is a milestone number. By 35 you should have life figured out right? 35 says "I'm an adult who does adult things". Ha. Not so much.
Ya know the Sex and the City episode where Carrie turns 35 and Samantha throws her a party but no one shows and then she drops her cake in the street while it's being paved and gets screamed at? Mmmm hmmm that's how I felt all week! I was in no mood to celebrate. In fact Sunday night I was about to hide my birthday on Facebook because I didn't feel like seeing friends send me well wishes when I was in such a terrible funk (such a bitch, right? LOL). Alas, my friend Ken is from Singapore and sent a sweet note at 11:51pm - henceforth making it impossible to run and hide unless I also hid his comment and that's too bitchy even for me. ;)
Where is this ridiculous dread of 35 coming from? Isn't age just a number? Yes comma, HOWEVER this seems like a number whereby I should have my life figured out and I very much don't feel that way! By 35 my mom was married with 2 kids. In fact I can now count the number of single girlfriends I have on one hand (and I have a lot of friends!). But it's more than just not having a plus 1 (because really I'm confident that future husband of mine is on track to find me this year)....it's worrying that I'm not where I should be in life. Did I zig when I should have zagged? Did I somehow miss an important turn in this crazy, winding road and now I'm completely off course? Am I where I was supposed to be by this age?
This pity party of one has been playing out inside my head for a few weeks as I mentioned in my last post. Well tonight at the studio for 2 of my favorite classes (Poise Fire which is heated Pilates with a twist and Poise n Kick which is kickboxing on crack) my mood finally took a turn for the better. In addition to seeing SO many friends (being the unofficial mayor has it's perks, lol) and two of my favorite cutie instructresses I also got to have a nice chat with one of my best cheerleaders. She said flat out getting older is a bitch but we can either chose to age gracefully and embrace each new cycle around the sun or we can wallow and miss the wonderful things around us. Message received!
After a healthy breakfast and dinner I splurged at dinner and my cheat of the week was Italian rum cake (so amazing and so worth cheating). Sitting down to thank my wonderful friends, coworkers and family that reached out on Facebook and text I came across one from my sweet friend Lindsey and it made me cry. Sometimes I get so caught up in my own head I don't realize how much the people around me appreciate my positivity and sparkliness. Thanks for reminding me of that, friends! <3
I'm going to own 35 and all it has to offer with a little (read: a LOT) of help from my friends!