It Ain't Me
Every since I got the Jeep with Sirius XM I feel like I listen to the radio much more than I ever did. I'm usually rotating between the 90's station (of course) and a few randoms but I really love KIIS LA - their morning show is hilarious. One of the songs they've been playing a lot lately is "It Ain't Me" by Kygo with Selena Gomez. Normally it's not my thing but the chorus got stuck in my head and seemed to relate so much to a situation in my life (and the lives of others I chat with) so I had to use it!
I feel like certain themes pop up over and over again in my life until I actually tune into them. Lately I have had multiple conversations about opportunities - jobs, dates, new friendships, side hustles. You name it, it's come to me in one form or another. And as a born people pleaser when someone says "this is perfect for you!" I want to follow blindly and jump in. The people in my life MUST know what's best for me, right?
Over the last year or so I've been working on making sure my decisions align to who I want to be not just who I am at the moment. Will saying yes to something getting me closer to who I want to be or further away? And is saying yes just my gut reaction - do I even WANT whatever is being offered? These questions are good things to make myself pause before blindly moving forward.
Take for example a guy my friend is trying to set me up with (let's hope he never finds this blog) - on paper he's got all the things I look for in a person - funny, successful, family-oriented, sarcastic. But there are some major things between us that don't jive. Namely he doesn't want kids and he isn't sure he believes in marriage. Driving home the other night I was thinking "I could maybe compromise on kids.....even though I have always wanted to be a mom" - flipping channels I landed on "It Ain't Me" and I laughed because the DJ said she felt like this is her new anthem because she's been saying "no" so much more in her life.
"It ain't me (The Bowery, whiskey neat, grateful, I'm so grateful)" ....
It ain't me. I'm not the right person for him and vice versa. And that's okay! Maybe I'm the only one that feels this way (I hope not) but sometimes I worry that saying "no" to something will cause me to miss out (FOMO!). What if that WAS the best thing for me? What if I could have made that work in the long run? What if I'm causing my destiny to detour?
I'm reminded of this quote:
Seems simple enough huh? If you're not wicked excited to say yes - it's probably not the right thing for you. Could I make myself excited about that guy? Sure. But, in 30 years when we're retired and have no kids I'd look back and regret settling. I know I would.
So I'll continue plugging along and try to say yes when it excites me and gracefully decline when I know I'm not the right person for the job.